I keep forgetting to tell you things.
It’s just that there has been so much going on.
Have you ever been caught in a strong undertow? The kind that pulls you under a wave & keeps you there tamped in its trough until it is well & done with you?
It isn’t unpleasant, exactly, if you can surrender to it. It is a little scary, knowing there is nothing you can do to lift yourself out of it, feeling yourself being dragged along the ocean floor with all the shells. It is better if you close your eyes & give yourself to the water.
And this is why I keep forgetting to tell you things.
It’s just that I’ve been a shell caught up in the shoal & trough.
It’s just that one minute I was there & the next I was here.
It’s just that time is less reliable than we want it to be.
It’s just that I had to hold my breath a little longer until the undertow was finally done with me & I could rise up & walk to shore.
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A short list of things I want to tell you:
Three of my poems were recently published in Dirt Child, volume 04. This entire collection is fantastic—relentlessly fantastic poems on each page—and something to hold in your hands: there is nothing better.
In December & January, I applied to several MFA programs in the Northeast to study poetry, & one to study experimental music. The application process is so surreal. It takes so much energy, so much energy. It is all preparation. And then a great silence—broken by what seems like stones being thrown at your window in the middle of the night. One stone hits the window & falls to the earth with a thud & you’ve been rejected. Another pierces the glass & tells you: you’re on a waitlist. And then there are more stones to come. It is like this. So there’s nothing you can do, really. Waiting is a sure way to drive yourself looney. So you must release any attachment to windows, stones, poetry, the energy of preparation, etc.
Over the past week, I have found a spot to unpack & hold my apothecary in. I will be doing that as February turns to March, so my essence consultations will re-open soon on a very limited basis.
I’ve been quietly, unexpectedly, offering my services as a monitrice to close friends & family lately. I don’t really know what this means. What I mean by that is: I don’t have any plans to make this something. Or maybe I do. Maybe I will ask Kara if I can be her birth assistant sometimes. More likely I will let it come & go. Most likely, I will return to midwifery when I am 52 or turning 60. Until then, I will let it come to me & go from me, as it has done for my entire life.
Liz Migliorelli of Sister Spinster has organized a flower essence raffle to benefit a trusted mutual aid support network in Gaza & I am honored to be one of the practitioners involved. Flowers for Gaza will pair raffle winners with one of thirteen practitioners for a 30 minute flower essence consultation & custom formula.
To enter: purchase a ticket (or more) via this link before 15 March. Recipients will be contacted & randomly paired with a practitioner on 18 March. Feel free to share this info with your friends & loved ones ~
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Another thing I forgot to tell you is that I was taking a small hiatus from my Rhythm/Devotion interview series until I officially felt settled in New Haven.
I am more settled here than I ever felt in the entire seven years I was living in North Carolina. Which is wild to admit to you. But.
It’s not that I didn’t have loved ones & cherished things I was doing in North Carolina. I had all of that. I dearly miss so many friends & my meadow & the literary garden at Meredith & the incredible shows that happen in the dead of night at Rymar’s.
I miss Katie.
Katie & I.
We have the gift of gab.
And we have something like telepathy but I don’t know what she’d call it. (Katie, what would you call it?) All I know is that when we are together, time loses all trace of us. We are nowhere to be found because we are covered in amber & creating music from the depths of this ancient, healing syrup.
Katie Addada Shlon, my collaborator, my friend, & my dear conspirator; Katie: an interdisciplinary artist & musician; a Pisces. And, she is this month’s interviewee. I could not be more delighted to introduce you to her now.
Katie’s interview is so beautiful & fluid. I found myself being inspired to notice my own innate rigidity & where I might soften or shift. One of my favorite of her responses:
I find it hard to establish routines, and to be honest I don't really like them. This world is so wide and vast I would hate to think that I have something figured out enough to do the same thing every day. Life has so much to offer! I want to always be open to change and growth.
We talk a lot about establishing our own rituals, but I wish I had the relationship with, and access to my family and ancestors that others are granted in this life, in order to continue on what has always held our communities in care and times of abundance, joy, and crisis.
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Enjoy the rest of Katie’s interview by following this link, or clicking on the photo of her amongst her handmade instruments below:
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Until next time, I am wishing you a good song to listen to / a spoon of lingonberry jam in your oats / a piping hot cup of your favorite tisana.
Yours affectionately,
Chanelle
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Horoscopic Radio
Chansons divined for each of the signs on the Full Moon at 05° Virgo. Listen for your rising, sun, & moon sign if you wish. See what lines, instruments, rhythms, or images ring true for you. Take them with you until the moon disappears from sight.
Virgo: “Linger” by The Cranberries
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